W is for Wishes

I'm almost done with this pass through the alphabet and thought it was time to do something extravagant. So I'm making Ten Wishes, even though I know you are only supposed get three.


There are not supposed to be rules with this, no guarantees or strings attached. Just wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive.

1. I wish I could meet in person the writer of every blog I read.

2. I wish that everyone believed in "peace now!" and really would "make love not war".

3. I wish that today was the day that Isaiah 2:4 came true.

4. I wish that everyone everywhere recognized the fundamental worth and dignity of every human being. If not that, then maybe everyone would recognize the simple truth that it costs less to feed, clothe and educate a person than it does to hunt them down in the desolate mountains of Asia and kill them.

5. I wish that we never again had to choose the lesser of two evils at the ballot box ... even if it meant granting us a "NONE OF THE ABOVE" option.

6. I wish that the same insurance and leave benefits granted to the President of a Corporation could be apportioned on a per hour worked basis to every single employee in the company. That way everyone who worked would have at least a portion of a retirement to build upon. Even part-time employees could have a shot at good health insurance. And working mothers could have the prospect of earning regular vacation and sick leave days so they wouldn't risk their less than 40 hours/week jobs because a child gets sick at school.

7. I wish that our education system did a better job of teaching and preparing young people. I wish that it didn't cost so much to go to the University or trade school or even community college.

8. I wish that more was done to protect our environment and the creatures that share it with us.

9. I wish that it wasn't considered quaint or worse to believe in God, Life, or the promises made in each of the first ten amendments to the Constitution. I also wish that the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness included the right to live with, love and even marry whoever you damned well pleased. I detest the elitism, arrogance and class warfare politics of the Left as much as I do the Right's condescension, holier than thou bigotry, and refusal to recognize that the working class needs protection from the excesses that are inherent in the capitalist system. Speaking against one and not the other has no value, nor truth ... two sad characteristics shared by most of the talk format programming on AM radio.

10. Even with ten wishes, it's not enough. There is one love I wish for above all else, and this last, private wish is for Her.

She is beautiful from the inside out. She is clever, changeable, curious and quick. She has a magnetic energy and passion that runs so deep that it intimidates other people. She has an inner strength that nothing or no one can compete with. The power of a volcano is inside her body, and she has spent a lifetime perfecting the self control that chooses when to allow it to explode. Her heart beats with a zest for life, and there is my greatest treasure.

V is for Victory

Went to the Orthopedic Surgeon to talk about the results of the MRI on my hand. He said that all is well and the bones can heal without surgery. That little victory lead to a question - what color is the cast going to be? Crimson, of course. This is the Captiol of the Sooner Nation after all. Now I'm all dressed up in crimson just in time for our beloved Oklahoma Sooners first game of the season.



This is what my desk looks like. The person in the pictures is my son. He is currently at the University of Rochester in Rochester, New York. He is on their swim team. He couldn't stay here in Norman and swim for the University of Oklahoma because we don't have a swim team here.

The first game of the Sooner football season was afternoon. The University of Tennessee Chattanooga Mocs came here to Norman, Oklahoma. The Sooners are ranked 4th in the Nation right now. The Mocs are known for things other than football. One of the UT-Chattanooga alums rooting for the Mocs would be Hugh Beaumont, the actor who played Ward Cleaver on Leave It to Beaver. Of course, he would be cheering from behind The Pearly Gates. Another alum, Terrell Owens, would be cheering from the opposite sort of place, Dallas, Texas.

As far as I could tell, those two were the only ones cheering for the Mocs. The rest of Memorial Stadium was filled with 84,715 fans, all of whom seemed to know the words to "Boomer Sooner". And there was a lot for all those Sooner fans to cheer about. The Sooners scored on every first-half possession and made few mistakes. But the more the Sooners scored, the cloudier it got.



A little while after this was taken, there was thunder. There was lightning. Then there was rain, lots of rain. The referees delayed the second half of the game for just over an hour. The second half of the game went pretty much the same as the first. The mighty Sooners won 57-2.

Cheers!



Life is good!

U is for Unusual

Got a couple of unnusual images from around the neighborhood. The first one is a ring of mushroom growing in my neighbors yard.



Rings of mushrooms are supposed to be the location of gateways into elfin kingdoms, or places where fairies and elves gather and dance. Since I haven't heard any party music in the nieghborhood AND there were muddy little foot prints (ok, they could be paw prints) on the windshield of my pickup, I have to guess that this ring is a magical doorway of some kind. Great, just great. Now the wee people of the forest are ascending to the surface of our world through my neighbors yard (probably because it is a better lawn than mine), then hanging out and having their elven fun and games on the top of the cab of my pickup. So this makes it official then, EVERYONE is having a better time of it than me. I really hate having broken bones!

Here is that blue heron I've been trying to photograph all these months. He let me get this close this morning.



Before he flew off ...



and all his buddies came for breakfast.

T is for Thanks

Today, Zirelda and Harshita gave me something special. Thank you both for this beautiful award.



This one came with some strings ... and the rules are :

1. The winner can put the logo on their blog
2. Link the person you received your award from
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs you’ve nominated.

So, my seven nominees are:

1. Although I don't think she goes much for awards, I want to give the first one to Maria. Her blog is always well written and remarkable. Best wishes for health and family dear. Our favorite college football teams meet on Nov 1st. It will be something to see.

2. I choose Eva because her blog is just plain fun to read. She's my favorite accountant and faux exotic dancer. Drop by and say "Hi!" to her and her sidekick, Boog.

3. a good one from Australia, Kookaburra. I think he and Mrs. Kookaburra are still celebrating a birthday.

4. Robyn who has just been out on a very interesting trip.

5. The only woman I would wear a kilt for, Terri. I really like the way she talks about her, um, bossoms. Two bonus points awarded dear.

6. Kylie from Australia. She keeps up many blogs with different themes. Check 'em out when you get a chance.

7. One of the best jumping little juke joints on the net, the Wild Onion Cafe. Many Happy returns everyone!

Thanks for keeping such great blogs everyone!

S is for Sunshine

Here is a picture of little ole me, broken bones and all. Yes, shit happens even in perfect worlds.



Pain is temporary. Love is forever.

R is for REAL Good

Something that Maria said sparked my imagination. There are certainly things that guys do, think and believe ... because we were programmed from birth to think this way. Ladies and Gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, I shall offer you a short insight into that.

1. Anything can be fixed (or alternatively, improved). Any tool used to effect same can be employed using this simple bit of logic - Rightie-Tightie, Leftie-Loosie.


Try it with a wrench, socket driver, or pliers. You will be pleasantly surprised with the results.

2. If something isn't moving and it should be ... poke it with a stick. for example, here is a jellyfish on the beach.


Because it is not moving, and clearly should be, here are two guys poking it with a stick.


BAM! Problem solved.

3. Meat and potatoes are Essential for Life.


Accessorize with dipping sauces because it is the right thing to do.



4. Girls are REAL good.



REAL girls are the BEST.



Life is very, very good.

Q is for Quite Nice

Kookaburraa asked what kind of motorcycles my brother, Sean, and I rode. Here they are:



The silver Honda Silverwing in front is mine. Sean is on his Yamaha FJR.

We found a great new place to eat - Ichiro's Japanese Steak House, 4545 Hwy 501, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.



We had the steak and scallops and they were great. The portions were HUGE and tasty. The next most surprising thing was the price - it was very reasonable for this type of food. Of course this is a Japanese steak place so the show at the grill was something to see. If you open the link to their MySpace website you'll see a guy flipping a spatula and a knife in the YouTube video. That guy cooked our food. He was great. If you get a chance to visit Myrtle Beach, set aside an evening to visit Ichiro's. You'll be glad you did.

One place that Sean and I always visit whenever we are in the neighborhood is Kelt's Pub and Restaurant, 119 West Main Street, in Altus, Arkansas. It's a fun little place with an Irish theme, great food and ice cold beer. If you come after 5:00 pm, they'll hand you a dinner menu. The ribeye steak is absolutely wonderful. It comes with all the trimmings, potatoes, veggies and dipping sauces. If you can visit on Sunday afternoon, they have a brunch that totally rocks. Order the Laird's Breakfast and take photos of the plate when it comes because what you see is the way the Almighty himself intended steak and eggs to be.

Any time a person visits Altus, Arkansas, it is customary to stop at some of the local wineries. There are a couple I always recommend. Mount Bethel is a small, out of the way place that excels in friendliness and great wines. I have always come away from the store with a good bottle of wine or two and a fun story about the region. The Wiederkehr Wine Cellar is much larger and they have a free tour of the place. They are good, but commercial.

P is for Princess by the Sea

My brother, Sean, and I left my home in Norman, Oklahoma, just after 4:00am last Monday. It was sprinkling. We filled up with gas and set off on our motorcycle adventure. Four miles later, it was pouring down rain. The rain let up just before Little Rock, Arkansas.

We eventually arrived at Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee. We had always wanted to visit the home of Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll.



It is much smaller than I thought it would be. The rooms are weirdly decorated. They are jammed with Elvis memorabilia. There are a whole lot more gold and platinum records than I thought there would be. There are a whole bunch of fans that wish there were more.



We paid our respects and moved along. Sadly, this last weekend was the anniversary of Elvis' passing.



We rode the rest of the day and then on through the night. We finished up in Lexington, South Carolina. Almost 1200 miles accomplished in just a few minutes under 24 hours time. We met some interesting characters along the way, but that's another story altogether.

After getting plenty of rest, we continued on our journey toward the sea. A couple of hours later, we were at the seashore in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.



And just to prove the point, here's the Atlantic Ocean rolling over my neon white foot.



It wasn't all rainclouds and gloom. A little Sunshine smiled upon us. Well, just enough to leave a few footprints on the beach without an umbrella.



I found a little Princess on the beach.



She waved goodbye to us from her new sand castle home. I hope that someone else found her and took her home with them.

O is for On The Road Again

Hi everybody! Am on the road again. My brother, Sean, and I decided to go a long motorcycle trip to the sea. We rode 1174 miles on the first day from Norman, Oklahoma, to Lexington, South Carolina. That was more than enough to complete the 1,000 miles in 24 hours requirement for a "Saddle Sore" Iron Butt ride.

It rained down hard on us for the first 400 miles or so. Even the best rain gear can only take so much, so we got wet. We stopped at Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee, to commune with the King of Rock and Roll. Will have pictures available later.



Am nursing a hand injury that really hurts. It may be a few days before we turn around and ride back. Will post more then.

N is for Nice

One can see many things in the parking of the Evil Corporation. Today, I saw this while walking back to the office after lunch.



I would like to thank whoever wrote this message. It confirms my Romantic world view and renews my hope that Love really can conquer all.

On the other hand, there are windscreen messages that are untrue, even upon the most casual of inspections. Take this message for example ...



This person claims that "I Am Worthy", even though their "Y" dangles provocatively and rather undignified below their "worth".

What are your favorite windscreen messages? Statements of fact, dysphemistic exhortations, or what?

M is for Maternal

Miss Autumn brought her brand new man to the office today. How He managed to snooze through a dozen sets of hands, I'll never know. Here He is resting happily in Sunshine's arms. Ever gracious and always lovely, She was radiant ... and maternal.

What is it about babies that brings out someone's best?

L is for the ... Last Thing You Want To Hear

I am going to be rich! I found ... the Money Angel ... in my Inbox AGAIN. I WILL be richer in four short days because the internet never lies.



This is one of the things I really hate to hear. There are a few more ...

I also received tne news that the very nice son of deposed Nigerian Finance Minister has more that $20,800,00.00 to deposit into my personal bank account ... simply because I'm a stand up guy. I have also just learned that the beautiful French first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, has some nude photos that will be published on Friday in Vanity Fair's September edition.

After reading all of this "news", I went over to Maria's just eat your cupcake and the topic of "Things you hate to hear" came up. Intrigued by the coincidence, I read on. She has a list of 18 things you hate to hear.

So, of all the things you hate to hear, which is the worst of them? Which one is so bad that it is the "Last Thing You Want To Hear?"

K is for Knowledge

Bloody plumbers ... and their accomplices.



marriedtothesea.com

J is for J.R. d'Newlywed

Just got back from a fun wedding ceremony and reception. J.R., a friend from work, married his charming girlfriend, Catherine. Here they are exchanging vows. If only my little bitty camera could have caught the nuanced lighting and ambiance ... it was really beautiful.



It seems that every wedding ceremony has something unexpected happen that really makes the event memorable. The unexpected happened for this wedding when one of the ring bearers couldn't take standing still anymore and just sprinted off, running a few laps around the chapel - laughing, singing and having a good old time. Poor J.R. and Catherine were mortified, but all of the guests really enjoyed it. I snapped this picture when he came around for the second lap. Check out the basket he's carrying - the rings are still in there!



After the young man with the rings was captured ... the Bride and Groom exchanged the rings, were pronounced "joined in Holy Matrimony", and then kissed. It was so nice.

Then came the Reception. J.R. and Catherine really know how to feed people right. They had a great buffet line that featured some super tasty Brisket ... yep, I went back a couple of times. Here's the Groom's cake.



There were tons of gifts. i think the coolest gift was a bouquet of origami roses ... made of money. Whoever made the flowers did a really good job. It was fantastic!



Here is Mrs. Skeeter going back to the buffet to get me another piece of that tasty brisket. That's her in the dress. I'm getting her some champagne.



Would anyone else care for glass while I'm up?

I is for Idiots

The Evil Corporation uses Microsoft Outlook for eMail. As far as it goes, it's the kind of software that perfectly fits the Evil Corporation - it's too big, requires too many resources, and fails dramatically whenever you need it most.

When you open an eMail with Microsoft Outlook, you can do several things with the eMail ... all laid out in exactly the wrong order. Since the buttons to "delete" or "navigate to another eMail" are all the way to the right of the top toolbar, it is so much easier to click one of the first available buttons - "reply","reply to all" or "forward".

Thus with the click of a single button, some well meaning and considerate person sent everone in the Evil Corporation an eMail today. It let every single one of us know that there was going to be a fire alarm test in one part of one building at precisely 1:30 this afternoon. Fortunately, I was not privy to the replies that said "I don't work in that building" and "I don't care." Unfortunately, I did receive the 61 different "Reply to All" eMails that let all 23,000 of us know that someone either did not work in that building or did not care.



The "Reply to All" button should come with a battery of mandatory tests before it could be used. One of the tests must determine if the person who is actually capable of lifting their knuckles up off the ground when they walk. Maybe this could be done by optically sensing a low, sloping forehead crowned with a prominent and single furry eyebrow. Not to specifically "profile" the Great Apes, the viciously territorial "Lesser Included Proto-simians" could be uncovered by pattern matching algorithms that detect "me makem" couplets containing {favorite bodily functions}, {political party blathering}, or {bumper sticker bliss}. Since it seems to be too difficult to detect the sounds of "an ass braying in the field", could we at least check senders for a prehensile tail in order to help keep the "fecal flingers" out of my Inbox?

A special place in Hell is also reserved for the self-appointed Authority who replied to all 23,000 employees exhorting them (in all caps) to "READ THIS - DO NOT REPLY TO IT OR ANY OTHER EMAIL". That person will be joined in the Fiery Lake by the NINE IDIOTS who did reply.

H is for HAWG!

Let's face the facts, ladies and gentlemen. There just ain't nothing like hawg. It's good!



Here in Norman, Oklahoma, we have a lot of places to get some hawg. The best one is Rudy's Country Store & BBQ. Yes, they are a chain store.



Yes, you can bring the whole family, sit down and enjoy dinner. Then get a tank full of gasoline before you leave the premises.

Brisket is the first thing on their sign ... for a reason. It rocks! Be sure to get the original sauce. It's hot, a little sassy, but comes in stingy little "to go" serving sizes. so be sure to get plenty of extra.

G is for Graduation

Do any of your friends occasionally transform into hypercompetitive little shits? One of mine does and it drives me nuts.



Here's the basic facts. We are the same age, but he is a few months older than me. Both of us work for the Evil Corporation, but he was hired in before I was by about a year. We were hired in to the same section, and worse yet, into the same team. I was promoted to Lead about six months before he was. Several years and promotions later, we once again have the same pay grade in the Evil Corporation, but I was promoted before him by almost a year. Both of us have Masters degrees. I have one in Physics and he has one in Computer Science. Of course, I graduated before him so he had to have a higher GPA. Yes, I missed all A's because of one horrible, horrible course named "Statistical Mechanics and the Kinectic Theory", which is hatespeak for conjuring all the cold, dark arts of thermodynamics by rubbing twigs of statistical principles together to make fire from collections of Bose-Einstien and Fermi-Dirac bastard particles.

A little over a year ago, this friend of mine walked into to my cubicle and said that he had signed up for "an educational opportunity." It would help with his next promotions he said. Of course, I had to sign up too.

How important is this "educational opportunity"? Without Graduation on your resume, you will not advance - period. It is necessary for promotion and social networking. The people you meet in this course of study will be the leaders of the Evil Corporation. U.S. Presidential Candidate John McCain lists a version of this "course of study" as his highest educational achievement. My friend and I were very happy to eventually be selected for admission to the "course of study."

My friend completed the course a couple of weeks ago. Naturally, I will finish later (Tuesday of next week) than him because *HE* didn't have to spend time in Turkey or any of the places the Corporation likes to have people visit. Now here we are ... still waiting for the posting of our final scores. I think the result will be a tie. So does he. Thus the tie breaker ... the best prank phone call to the School. Naturally he surprised me by making the call from my cubicle.

one ringy dingy, two ringy dingy, and ...

FACULTY ADVISOR: "The School". How may I help you?
HIM: Hi! I have a question about Graduation.
FACULTY ADVISOR: It's online. There's really nothing to it.
HIM: Do I need a webcam?
FACULTY ADVISOR: No.
HIM: How will you know I'm wearing my cap and gown?
FACULTY ADVISOR: Sir, you don't need to wear anything.
HIM: My parents won't like that. They're going to take pictures.
FACULTY ADVISOR: That's not what I meant.
HIM: So it's OK to wear a cap and gown?
FACULTY ADVISOR: If you want, yes.
HIM: Who's going to deliver the keynote lecture?
FACULTY ADVISOR: No one.
HIM: If you don't mind, I have prepared some remarks. Can I have five to seven minutes of time at the podium?
FACULTY ADVISOR: Sir, I don't think you understand.
HIM: I know I'm not the Valedictorian, but I tried really hard and if they're not going to speak, it's only fair that I -
FACULTY ADVISOR: That's not it. The graduation is online.
HIM: That's alright. I have an internet connection and a microphone. I'll wait to begin the speech until you've finished playing an MP3 of the National Anthem.
FACULTY ADVISOR: No! The whole graduation is done by a batch job that runs on the server and updates everyones' personnel records to show course completion. You don't have to do anything EXCEPT log back into the the system after 4:06 pm Wednesday and print off your diploma.
HIM: Can I salute the printer?

Click ... buzz ...

I know you read this blog you hypercompetitive little smart alleck. You are NOT going to get in the last word ... no matter how good it was.

F is for First Words

An idea from Kookaburra ... about the first postings on his blog and the responses that it garnered ... made me think that "F" should be for the first words on my blog.

Just a month short of two years ago, my writing instructor Mel Odom gave eveveryone an assignment to start a blog. His idea was that everyone would write something every day and it would help their writing.

Katie was the first to leave a comment. It was just one word - "yeah!!!" Katie is one of the most interesting poeple I know. She's funny, smart and really pretty too. She writes for Blogcritics and a couple of other sites too. She's finally finished a novel and is tearing headlong through her second. Love those exclamation marks dear. You are my hero and you rock.

This is my 121st post now and so much has changed over the last couple of years. I've made a whole bunch of new friends along the way. I never thought that publishers would send me books for free just so I would review them. I guess anything is really possible these days. Still meeting with old friends from the Writers Group on Wednesdays. In case anyone asks, that's where Katie, Justin, Steve, Sara, Marissa, Jason, Joe, Terri, Lisa and I will be. See ya there too?

E is for the Elephant ... in the Room

A dear blogfriend and kindred spirit, M. from the Cornhusker State, received some bad medical news last week. I read the words and my heart sank. She's a brilliant writer with a wonderful, passionate voice that rings out ... especially in the whispers you stop to hear. I fear for the worst. She says no sympathy please. She'd rather not talk about the elephant in the room.

To fill the awkward silence, all I have are a few small, ridiculous words that don't mean anything at all. I don't know what else to do but change the subject and hope for the best. She smiles and leaves me with a kind word and a smile. I'm so thankful for it.

Now we are ignoring her elephant and making the best of it. Zirelda was absolutely right - sometimes that's all we can do for each other.

D is for Ducks ... & lots of 'em

Was down at the pond when a pair of momma Mallards paddled by with fifteen baby ducks in tow. These ducklings are doing pretty well. There just used to be onesies and twosies at most, but a group of 15! It's great, except when they try to cross the street, waddling along in single file ... it takes forever.

I hope this means that our efforts to control the feral cat population are paying off. The City is trapping the ferals, spaying/neutering them, and then releasing selected animals back into the areas where they were caught.