Sunday, April 26, 2009

Sleeping with Bread

The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes them by looking at what is giving them consolation in their life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff. It is quite simple. You simply ask yourself, in the last day/week/month what gave me consolation and what caused me desolation.

So, without further ado ...

The Good.

Spring has come and Life is breaking out all over the place.

We got these two burr oaks last year for free. They were sickly, dry and were going to be thrown out. So, I planted them and did everything I could for 'em. When Winter came and they lost the few leaves they did have, I thought that we wouldn't see leaves on them ever again, but I was wrong. They are thriving!

The best flowers so far are these by the front door.

Most importantly, I am so thankful to see Sunshine smile again. It was just for a minute, but it was definitely there. I love that girl and her heart shaped face.

The Bad.

I guess I hadn't thought of it before today. Sunshine's Mom's personality completely filled her house. No matter which room you went into, she seemed to be there somehow - if that makes any sense. Today when we were at the house, it hit me just how empty the house felt. The funeral is on Thursday. This is going to be a tough week.


Lamont said...

I understand what you mean by someones personality filling up the spaces around them. I am sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you Thursday epically.

Leni Qinan said...


I'm so sorry about Sunshine's mom. My sincere condolences.

Hopefully, there are some signs f spring. Flowers... and a beautiful smile.

Lots of love and support.

Mel said...

Oh yeah.....I know how hard it is to enter the parent's home afterwards. about a personality filling the space--that's exactly what it was at my step-mother's home. It's a loss you and Sunshine will be feeling again and again.

Know that you're not alone in this journey and prayers are being said.

Spring arrives--things live on, eh?


Amber Star said...

Your pansies won't last too much longer...maybe think about picking up a 6 pack of begonias for the summertime.

You will heal from the devastating loss of Sunshine's mother. It does get better.

ashley said...

The pictures of new life are lovely.
Prayers for the repose of Sunshine's mom's soul and for consolation for all who mourn.

sharilyn said...

i WILL pray for you both this week. saying goodbye is oh, so very difficult... you are loved...

Harshita said...

I am so sorry about Sunshine's mom.
I will keep your family in my night prayers.

Wish you a brighter Sunshine in the coming days.

Leah said...

This is a most poignant post...

Suzanne said...

I've learned that people who grace my life and love me never leave me. Never. And that flowers and gardening always remind me that life is about joy, death, change.

My heart goes out to you and your family, especially tomorrow. I will stand in the woods with the ferals, look up to the sky and pray for you. It's such a beautiful, peaceful place and I know God listens.

I love you dearly my friend. I'm so sorry for your loss.


Grass said...

Spring's the best time of the year. Strangely enough though, I find more beauty in autumn. I must be the depressive type.. Tsk tsk...

Talking to your plants is a good thing for them, based on my experience. I did look crazy but I remember having a green thumb when I was a kid.


Mary-LUE said...

I have experienced that emptiness that comes from loss. I'll be thinking and praying for you guys this week.

Thanks for taking the time to share both the good and the bad with us.

bindhiya said...

Dear Skeeter,
I'm so sorry to hear about Sunshine's mom. I'll be praying for you and family...
love and ((hugs)) to you both..

Technonana said...

Oh Sweetie, embrace the Love that surrounds you in the memory of her!! From what you have said of Sunshine's mom, I believe that is what she would want you to do!!
Love and care for each other, because love is the BEST that you can give!!! And God is Love!
In Him,