Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Banjo-legs of Customer Support

Was cruising past the pond today and I saw the strangest thing. A goose with a banjo-leg.

For those from more Northern latitudes, a banjo-leg is the strange condition that a dog gets when you scratch his belly just so ... and one of his back legs starts working all by itself. One could say that it's a semiquaver from a itch needin scratched, and you'd be almost right, because what the dog is really doing is picking an imaginary banjo with that strumming leg. It's a musical itch. If you don't believe me, just try it. Scratch your old dog just so ... and when that leg gets to strumming, sing these words:

Chicken in the bread pan pickin out dough.
Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

Just see if your poor hound doesn't look back at you, forlorn and bedraggled, with that "You SO did not go there" expression.

I used to believe that dogs were the only animals with banjo-legs, and I was ... yet to be enlightened. How it hurts to say it. Fortunately, Enlightenment was right around the corner! I was having a bad day at the Corporation, so I drove to the pond to contemplate Nature. There was a goose, a brand new goose by the way, standing on one leg in that classic "I'm sleeping, leave me alone" pose. Then, as if by magic, the other leg began strumming. It became a banjo-leg! I don't know if it was a dream, or one legged aerobics, or what ... but all of the sudden the events of the day became perfectly clear to me.

Humans have banjo-legs too.

It's not in their real legs though, but in their emotional legs. Don't believe me? Try this the next time your in your favorite Corporate customer support office ...

"Hey, Joe SoAndSo, a customer called with a software problem. They need Sum_Thingy changed really bad."

Presto! Mere moments after your coworkers' hollow, horrified indignation comes the more familiar strumming ... the emotional banjo-leg ...

"It can't be done. It quite simply can't be done."


"There's no money. There's no feasibility. We don't have the staffing for that. We can't put that on one of our networks. There's licensing issues. There's no approvals."

Really there's no willingness to try, no courage to actually TALK to someone who can solve the problem. A whole department with the moral substance of a popcorn fart. So, the banjo-leg goes faster and faster, and when it reaches an incredible, butt-tingling speed ... out pops:

"It's impossible!"

But all you them saying is:

Chicken in the bread pan pickin out dough.
Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no!


Robyn said...

Skeeter! How I truly love your blog! It is witty and quite knee-slapping-funny! I just wanted to say Thank you I needed that! Take care dear friend! Come visit me soon!

NouveauBlogger said...

Great post. This Yank never heard that phrase, banjo-leg. But I am familiar with it so I'm glad to have a name for it.

bindhiya said...

Dear Skeeter,
I never heard about 'banjo legs'...we have a kind of silly question between friends... "when goose become one legged?
As always great post and love that comparison :)
have a beautiful day!
♥ & ((hugs))

TheSnarkiest said...

Thanks for edukatin' me. I knew the condition without knowing the name.

CIELO said...

Oh you are so funny!.... I don't know why I'm laughing every time I come here... is just YOU! And yes, I've seen my dog in one of those "strumming leg" episodes.... do we human have those too??? I wonder!

Have a great day


Maria said...

I'd never heard of banjo legs and tried it with my pup, Socks. No luck, although he was astonished that I was so diligent about scratching his belly.

His ego is hurt. We have a few teaser robins in the yard who let him stalk to about a foot away from them before they take flight and then they sit in the tree and laugh at him with their friends. I keep hoping he will learn NOT to chase them but another one will plop down into the yard and whiiiiipppp...there he goes after it again.

I swear I can hear those robins tittering.

Leah said...

My husband tells me the technical term is "scratch saddle reflex." We both prefer "banjo leg." And we both love the banjo leg metaphor.

Marisa said...

Ha ha, banjo-leg. Never knew that term. We always called it doggy orgasm, or dogasm.

Joyful Jo said...

Thanks for visiting my blog,just came over to say hi.

Suzanne said...

Oh crap, I'm laughing too hard. Honey, I wanted to comment posts ago, but decided instead to blog about you. Unfortunately I haven't made it that far!!! So, okay, I love everything you write and I WILL BLOG ABOUT YOU!!! I am trying so hard, but with all that happens around her I'm workin' way too hard. I'm exhausted, but will get to the blog in no time. Okay, perhaps in April!

When you accepted your award as if you were at the Academy I nearly died. No joke. I laughed way too hard and way too long. I called Rob into my office and we laughed more! And then learned I was someone you thanked. I was beyond honored. I love you too sweetie! Thank you honey. Right back at ya.

Well I have to admit, T-Bone loves a good rub and before you know it his banjo leg is goin' a mile an minute. Way too funny. He's a keeper and very sensitive! I have a camera that can video, but haven't learned that function yet. Perhaps I should. He'd be a YouTube hit! So would lots of the kitties.

Love you dear. And thanks for always writing the best posts. You make me laugh way, way too hard and I enjoy every single minute. Hope all is well and that Spring is finally arriving. If not, put on your flip flops and hop on over to my place. ;)

Love you,
Suze XO