Thursday, October 30, 2008
Going to New York tomorrow. Will stay in touch. Be back Sunday, kiddos. No PARTIES! No Strangers in the house and no loud music. I don't want to come back here and find a bunch of beer cans on the lawn and toilet paper in the trees ... like last Halloween.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Skeeter Über Alles, gopher Weibchen!
A few of you asked how I get rid of the pocket gophers. You definitely don't need dynamite like they used on Caddyshack. I use the Death Clutch Gopher Trap. They have NEVER failed me. I've been using them for 8 years now, and other than the one that just wore out, and the one that got "lost", they haven't let me down.
These traps aren't "for dummies". The spring is very strong and the jaws are sharp. Read and follow the directions to set the trap. Wear gloves and be safe around this device.
I tie a short rope to the loop end of the handle and then place a small weight on the other end of the rope. I like to place the trap well into the gopher tunnel, so only the gopher will be trapped. I cover the tunnel entrance and the rope with a small, brightly colored plastic bin so that it can easily be seen (and avoided), and that dogs and cats won't catch the gopher's scent and be tempted to investigate the tunnel while the trap is active.
The trap will develop a little rust in moist environments. The rust brushes off easily with a wire brush. That's all the long term maintenance I've ever had to do on these traps and they just keep on working whenever I need them.
I bought mine at a local hardware store. They are also available on the Internet through Amazon.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
The Gophers are back. My new neighbor said that she found a mound by her garage, but I couldn't trace the dirt back to any tunnels. She hasn't had any other trouble since then ... because they've moved under my house!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I love you very much, Sunshine. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Would you like to have lunch with us?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Like I told Employee No. 3699, I don't know what is up with this election. For some reason, the "powers that be" have usually given us the chance to pick between the lesser of two evils. This is the first time in a very long time that one side is just so clearly more evil than the other. I got my Obama yard sign up on Sunday. Two others in the neighborhood have been so bold in this very, very red state. Today was the first morning that I've seen a neighbor bring his dog over to "water" my yard sign. I guess this is not really so bad. I had to open the door and say "Hi!", so I'm meeting people. The grass around the sign is getting greener too.
We have a Democratic governor here. I was the only one in the neighborhood with one of his yard signs. The lawn was amazingly green by the end of that campaign, and Gov. Brad Henry won re-election by a country mile :-)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Had a visit today from a politician. My State Representative stopped by the Casa Del Skeeter to ask for my continued support. He handed me some campaign literature. He was wearing shorts and a T shirt. So was I. He was wearing socks with his flip flops ... this was clearly a formal visit. There was a time when we were merely ... neighbors. I don't feel it anymore.
Thank you so much, Cielo. Your timing is flawless, as always. She left me with this hope, "May the sun shine upon you today." It's coming true. From the top of a Mayan pyramid or the golden beaches of some faraway tropical paradise, I will always have Sunshine in my heart.
Thanks again, Cielo, for everything. You are wonderful.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
I was next in line to the register at our friendly neighborhood Super Wally World, minding my own business, reading all about Hollywood hootchies in the tabloids. All of the sudden, the lady working the register shouted "Oh God! Oh God!". She waved her hand in front of her face. The first thing I thought was Christ on Bike the mother f**ker in front of me is robbing this g*d damned store and I'm gonna kill him with a can of chili. Register Lady wails "Oh God! Oh God!" waving her hand in front of her face EMPHATICALLY. The short, sloppy man in front of men hops from leg to leg uncomfortably. No firearm in his hand yet, but why wait for it ... I cock my arm to smite this Puke with a 12 ounce can of spicy Wolf brand Chili with beans. Then it struck me ... it was like an open sewer only ... fresher. The smell was so intense, my eyes were burning. The sad little man in front of me clenched his backside with one hand and worked a credit card into the reader with the other. There was a BEEP of acceptance, and the Cashier stabbed a finger at the red ENTER button. The machine whirred and the cash drawer popped open. The bleary eyed Cashier snatched the register receipt printing out of the top of the machine, and whispered in breathy gasps, "Thank you for shopping at Wally World. Please come again". The sawed off little shit of a man hopped off with his plastic sack of crap. One of his friends walked beside him inspecting the sad man's backside. He kept saying the word "espeso" in rapid fire sentences punctuated with twirled R flourishes. Babelfish translator says that is Spanish for "soupy" and ... I believe it. I sat the can of chili down on the conveyor and watched it ride up to the register alone. The minimum wage Cashier said, "I hate it when that happens." So do I, sister ... so do I.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
In a resume building move, here is one of the big stars of the show, Kike, dealing with an employee of the show. It would appear that She is uniquely qualified for a Management position in the Evil Corporation.
Technically speaking, "Big Cat Diary" is a BBC program. The folks at Animal Planet broadcast the program on their cable channel.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Last Tuesday, Mrs. Skeeter and I went to the Red Lobster here in Norman. We had some of the never ending shrimp special and a treat - every Tuesday the University of Oklahoam Football Coach Bob Stoops and Big Bob Berry put on a radio talk show. The subject is, of course, Oklahoma Sooners football. Bob Stoops is on the right in shadow signing autographs from adoring Sooner fans. Big Bob Berry is in the middle with headphones and a white shirt. This season life is very good and our beloved Sooners are #1 in the nation!
It was a great visit and we had a lot of fun during the show. They asked people at the restaurant to write some questions on cards. The question cards were screened and a few were chosen by the screener for Coach Stoops to answer. My question card was the third one picked. My question was - Tell us something about the strenght and conditioning program. Coach Stoops gave a very long and detailed answer. If you were listening to the show, then you'll know my name coz Big Bob Berry said it on the radio.
This Tuesday's show will focus on how we can defeat arch-rival Texas. The crowd down at the Red Lobster will be large and spirited. The big game will be held this Saturday in Dallas at the Cotton Bowl. That game is the biggest event of the Texas State Fair. If you haven't been to the big game or the Texas State Fair, you're really missing something.
With our hopes for another chance to play for the National Championship in the balance, all I can say is ... Texas sucks!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
We had some punch and cake for a colleague who is travelling today to India to hold her newly adopted daughter for the very first time. The newborn girl is going to a very good and loving home.
A few weeks ago, another of our colleagues discovered that our workplace rules treat pregnancy as a "workplace injury" ... complete with all benefits and entitlements. Yes, she has become "injured" ... in a most particular way. No, I really didn't want to know the particulars. Please for the Love of God, stop talking on the telephone while eating popcorn AND describing the particulars.
Had to go to the Dentist today. Old cracked filling out, new crown in ... ouch!
No, I'm talking about the most serious kind of "Signs and Wonders". The life changing or faith affirming kind of "Signs and Wonders". Yeah, sure, they say that if you are strong in faith you just plain don't need signs and wonders to know that God exists, cares for us, or even hears our prayers. I get it! So what happens if you see bonafide "Signs and Wonders"? Does it mean anything?
Well, after another long, hard day of slaving away for the Evil Corporation, I was walking through the empty parking lot to my pickup.
And I saw something up in a tree waving at me. I couldn't make out what it was, so I went closer. The closer I got, the more it waved, enticing me, urging me forward. It was a mysterious and flickering brown ... something. I started thinking that maybe this was one of those signs and wonders you heard about. I couldn't figure what else it could be. There wasn't anyone else in the parking lot, so this was meant for my eyes alone. It had to be a Sign. Official. Bonafide.
Well, the next thing you know, a gust of wind flicked open the waving brown object in the trees, and I recognized it!
Panty hose. Panty hose in the tree tops. How in the Hell do panty hose get up into the treetops? Well, this is Oklahoma and the wind ... wouldn't snatch the panties offa someone and kick 'em up into the treetops.
That's when it struck me that this was indeed a Sign ... of someone having far more fun at work ... than I do.